Adlerian Parenting Support

About Adlerian Parenting Support. 

Adlerian parenting support is based on the psychology of Alfred Adler, an early 20th-century psychiatrist who emphasized the importance of mutual respect, encouragement, and social connection in raising children. This approach helps parents build healthy, cooperative relationships with their children while fostering independence, responsibility, and a sense of belonging.

Key Principles of Adlerian Parenting:

1. Mutual Respect
   Parents and children are seen as equals in dignity. Discipline is based on firmness and kindness rather than punishment or permissiveness.

2. Encouragement Over Praise
   Encouragement focuses on effort and improvement, not outcomes. It builds a child’s intrinsic motivation and resilience.

3. Belonging and Significance
   Children’s behavior is understood as a reflection of their need to feel connected and important in the family. Misbehavior is often seen as mistaken attempts to meet these needs.

4. Natural and Logical Consequences
   Instead of arbitrary punishments, children experience the natural results of their actions or logical consequences that are directly related, respectful, and reasonable.

5. Democratic Parenting Style
   Parents involve children in problem-solving and decision-making, which helps them develop a sense of responsibility and cooperation.

6. Understanding Mistaken Goals of Misbehavior
   Adlerian theory identifies four mistaken goals: attention, power, revenge, and avoidance. Understanding the goal behind a child’s misbehavior helps in responding effectively.

Techniques Often Used:

• Family meetings

• Active listening

• Setting clear boundaries

• Using “I” statements

• Problem-solving together

• Teaching life skills

This approach is widely used in programs like Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen, which is grounded in Adlerian principles.  I am a certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator and incorporate this into my work with parents and families.